Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My All Time Favorite Joke . . .





Q.: What's the difference b/n Simply Red and a bull?
A.: A bull has it's horns in the front.




Monday, October 19, 2009

My very favorite (probably apocryphal pretty conclusively apocryphal) anecdote UPDATE*




Luckily royals are used to rescuing such people from their embarrassing situations. Once, as the famed French President General Charles de Gaulle and his wife Yvonne were having dinner at Windsor shortly before the end of his tenure, somebody asked Madame de Gaulle what she was most looking forward to after her retirement. Madame de Gaulle answered, in a strong French accent: “A penis!” Blank stares. Until the Queen rescued the situation by translating: “Ah, happiness.”

At the end of a long and probably very boring meal (at a formal dinner), (British Prime Minister) Macmillan turned to Madame de Gaulle and asked politely what she was looking forward to in her retirement. Quick as a flash the elderly lady replied: "A penis." Macmillan had been trained all his life never to appear shocked, but even he was a bit taken aback. After drawling out a series of polite platitudes, - "Well, I can see your point of view, don't have much time for that sort of thing nowadays" - it gradually dawned on him to his intense relief that what the old girl had actually said was "happiness."


. . . And for good measure a Cut-up:



and probably very boring meal (at Macmillan turned to Madame de Gaulle looking forward to in her retirement. lady replied: "A penis." Macmillan had to appear shocked, but even he drawling out a series of polite your point of view, don't have thing nowadays" - it gradually dawned that what the old girl had are used to rescuing such people the famed French President General Charles were having dinner at Windsor shortly somebody asked Madame de Gaulle what after her retirement. Madame de Gaulle answered, penis!” Blank stares. Until the Queen happiness.” At the end of a long a formal dinner), (British Prime Minister) and asked politely what she was Quick as a flash the elderly been trained all his life never was a bit taken aback. After platitudes, - "Well, I can see much time for that sort of on him to his intense relief actually said was "happiness."


Luckily royals from their embarrassing situations. Once, as de Gaulle and his wife Yvonne before the end of his tenure, she was most looking forward to in a strong French accent: “A rescued the situation by translating: “Ah,



* Take it away Snopes

Friday, October 02, 2009

Pure Products of America . . . I mean, is that under some hedge of choke-cherry or viburnum— which they cannot express— or what?









This group of images from the past were found stuffed under a drawer of a second hand dresser bought by a friend. And for some reason (maybe b/c I was just reading it?) they really bring to my mind William Carlos Williams' "To Elsie". There are supposed to be about five more found negative that I can not wait to see.